God’s Business
This jive artist, Dr. David Owuour is giving me migraines, which should not surprise me because most religious extremists give me thrust pounding headaches.
However, I know what Dr. Oh.Wow is trying to do with all his jive. He’s trying to make some money. Alright, I get it. I’m just disappointed that he’s not being more creative or more innovative with his “jiverating”.
You see, the most successful and long-term religious jiverator guru/priest is called Saithya Sai Baba. You can see a picture of him below. He looks like an older and fatter version of Michael Jackson right after he did his off the wall album.
Anyway, one day, Sri Saithya Sai Baba declared himself to be divine and went on to claim that he had paranormal powers that allowed him to work miracles. An example of these miracles included making ashes materialize for the poor and making jewelry materialize for the rich.
This swami (“aka” Sai Baba) has become quite wealthy by “selling” his paranormal divine powers, not to Indians, but to westerners. Celebrities like the Beatles and one of the founders of The Hard Rock Cafe have flocked to Baba’s ashram in south India in search of Hindu mysticism and enlightement and Baba has given them what they’ve wanted. Actually, sometimes Swami Baba has given them more than what they’ve wanted (he has been accused of having sexual affinities for white, blonde, boys, but that’s a whole other story, which I don’t want to get into here).
So, my suggestion to this Kenyan Swami, Dr. Oh (no you didn’t) Owuour, is to copy Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba’s entrepreneurial jiverations. i.e. instead of offering christianity to a bunch of poor people in Nakuru, create your own African religion, steeped in African mysticism and enlightment and try and sell it to someone like Madonna (who’s busy running around Malawi looking for black babies). I mean, Madonna IS looking for some kind of religious enlightment. A couple of years ago, she was all over that Jewish Jiverating religion otherwise known as “Karbala”. You know the one where they were selling “jiverating holy Karbala” water for 50 bucks a bottle? That’s right. This IS a business.
The problem for Owuour is that you can’t sell Christianity to mzungu’s because they already know about it and it’s what they already are. Swami Baba knew this and figured out that it would be more profitable for him to sell something, which appeared to be exotic to them. That is how they got a saffron robbed, afro-wearing, South Indian guru, otherwise known as Swami Baba. This semi-literate, managed to sell his own version of Hindu mysticism to a bunch of overworked hippies in California and it worked! One of the founders of The Hard Rock Cafe even gave him a $10 million dollar check to build a hospital! (click link to see a documentary on the life of the boy loving secret Swami here: Baba loves you).
My basic point here is that if Owuour wants to make more money and expand his clientele beyond the dusty showgrounds of Nakuru, he’s going to have to create a more exotic religion, free of western influences and one that will appeal to a bunch of mzungu’s looking for a prozac-substitute.
I need to go take a couple of aspirins now.
yes, great post
I have a feeling that this will at some point backfire on Raila. He will be portrayed as an unstable lunatic.
I know for one that his muslim supporters are not happy about this.
Ke,
I think your article touches on the Idea of prosperity gospel. Which has become a trend in Kenya.
Prosperity gospel simply means the pastor makes the most amount of money from the congregation by cherry picking verses in the Bible that allude to the notion that prosperity equals to being rich with money and properties.
You see their are many Interpretations of similar verses in the same Bible. Its hard to even reach a specific conclusion on what some of them really mean owing to the different interpretations.
My gripe is really simple. Religious leaders need to stop doing this open robbery of poor followers without adding any value in their lives. I remember once a pastor asked the congregation to put seed money and watch their lives get changed. People flocked to the front with Ksh 1,000 to Ksh 5,000. The people genuinely wanted to see their lives changed. But the question is did they get the value for their money ?
I know their are good churches in Nairobi and In Kenya in General but some of them are just money making outfits.
Great post!
You’re wrong on this one KE, at least on the business angle you gave it. This guy is not in it for the money. He does not even ask of people to give to God i.e. sadaka at his gatherings. He clearly is qualified enough to make tons more eleswhere.
Lakini I’m surprised Raila was not saved all this time? I’m sure I’ve seen a picture or Rev. Dr. Margaret Wanjiru praying for him.
Maybe the reason he doesn’t have to ask for sadaka is because wealthy politicians like Raila are already “oiling” him up and in this respect maybe he has already figured out a niche, which is, don’t take from the poor if you can fool the rich just as easily.